Showing posts with label insecurity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label insecurity. Show all posts

The Sophomore Slump

"Sophomore Slump." It's a phrase that I hadn't heard until a few months ago. A phrase I wish I'd never heard. Can you say mind-numbing fear?

FIRST DATE had been out for two months. It's doing okay, I think. At least no one told me it was horrible and it was receiving pretty good reviews.

So what to do next? A follow up book, of course. I already had a contract for AFTER HOURS so Yippee! Right?

Ack!

Life happens.

Somewhere in the editing process, when I was feeling less than creative, I read the term sophomore slump and immediately froze. Was my second effort good enough? I wanted it to be better than FIRST DATE... you know in the whole spirit of grow-as-a-writer thing?

But what if? What if? Okay, I'll just say it. What if it sucked?

And yes, I am that insecure. Most of time. Sometimes. Right now.

As I grow as a writer, I become more and more aware of just how much I do not know. I seriously considered taking a month off to study The Chicago Manual of Style or maybe breaking out an old college textbook. Nothing like burying yourself in syntax to engender holiday cheer. ; )

Working on AFTER HOURS, I thanked heaven daily for my awesome, wonderful, patient editor. Not only is she supportive, she doesn't let me get away with shoddy writing. I knew I could relax because, if it got past her watchful eye, it wasn't horrible. AND (that's a big 'and')wanting her watchful eye to become bored forced me to up my game.

This is a tough business. It's tough on your ego, your self-confidence, your time and sometimes your sanity. Even after publishing, my biggest fear is that I'm just not quite good enough.

AFTER HOURS' release day has come and gone and now I'm waiting the first reviews. And that's another nerve-wracking experience.

So, anyone out there have periods of insecurity? Willing to share?