Completely random post about breasts.

I have never had big breasts. Well, except for about 2 months after the birth of my first daughter, but that’s another story completely.

My breasts aren’t small. They’re, well, average...I guess. My sisters all got the big boobs in the family. But that's okay, I got the brains. *heehee, it's okay, they don't read this blog*

Okay, my point? I don’t have that jaw-dropping, male drool-inducing cleavage that is often the desire of men and women alike and has made plastic surgeons a fortune.

Yesterday, thanks to a good bra and a tight tank top, voila! Cleavage. Still not the jaw-dropping, male drool-inducing variety, but hey you work with what you've got. Now you have to understand, I'm rather... conservative.(Says the erotic romance writer.) I usually don't do low cut shirts. Usually. But I was working the cleavage.

That night I sat down with my kids to watch a movie and I kept dropping popcorn down my top and having to fish it out. Which was kind of embarrassing but also made me think. I don't usually drop that much popcorn. I mean I can be clumsy, but I'm pretty proficient at getting food to my mouth.

So what was different? Well, I normally don't have a reservoir in which to catch my errant food, that's one. And then I remembered the last time I'd worn the good bra tight shirt combo, a lady bug flew down my shirt -- Yeah, try to get a ladybug out of your cleavage -- something that has never happened to me on un-cleavage days.

So, I've come to a conclusion. Through some trick of science, cleavage has gravity.

Think about it. Where do men’s gazes eventually settle? Drawn in like a magnet... or gravity?

Where is one of the first places male hands roam?

Why else would stray insects and exploded corn find it’s way down my top?

Say what you like, I think cleavage has it's own gravitational pull.

Monday's Pick-me-up

Let me be honest right up front. I stole this. I don't remember from which blog, I only remember that I saw it, drooled, and copied it... for research purposes.

For those of you who don't know, this is Sayid Jarrah, a character on LOST played by Naveen Andrews.

The thing is, after I drooled on this for a bit, the next night, I dreamt about him... as a character... in a story. *HUGE GINORMOUS GRIN*

Not sure if I'll ever write this story but I might use it as a spring board for another story. One of my favorite parts of being a writer are those dreams that have you racing to the computer or the nearest piece of paper in the morning.

I thought it only fair to share with all of you.

Happy dreaming.

Interview with Cari Quinn

Today I am lucky enough to have the estimable Cari Quinn on my blog. Cari is celebrating the release of her newest erotic romance, Ex Appeal.

Here's a sneak peak at the blurb:

As the webmistress for one of the Northeast’s hottest dating sites, Hunk Du Jour, Jenny Talbot is no stranger to reading the applications of potential clients. But when the latest application that crosses her inbox belongs to Ty Randall, the guy she broke up with a mere twenty-seven days ago, she does a double take. Reading what Ty wants in bed not only gets Jenny hot, it also makes her rethink ending their relationship. All she longed for was a little more spice in the bedroom—okay, a lot more—but he let her go without an argument. Faced with the possibility that Ty may really be moving on, getting her ex back becomes more appealing than ever. But will revealing exactly what she needs allow Jenny to finally experience ultimate pleasure or will she drive away the man she loves for good?

So grab a cup of coffee, your favorite snack, sit back and learn a little more about Cari and her work.

How would you describe your writing style?

Quirky, sexy and snarky. Actually, I'd probably say “weird” rather than quirky, because I tend to insert strange things into my stories in the name of character development. But quirky sounds better, right?

Quirky sounds awesome. What inspired you to start writing?

I started reading early and always loved books. By second grade, I was writing Bible stories my teacher would hang on the wall. Being the center of attention back then was addictive, though I now shy away from it. After that, I was pretty much always writing. I remember plotting out a children's book with a friend in 4th grade. Shockingly, we didn't get beyond the plotting stage.

That’s further than many 4th graders get. How did your friends/relatives react when you told them you wanted to be a writer?

I never really made a secret of it. Truthfully, writing has been a part of me my entire life. In high school, my stories were passed around by my friends. By and large, everyone's been supportive. And most people who know me would agree I do better working for myself. I'm not too good with showing up to work early in the morning, though I do. Hopefully one day I won't have to.

What is the best piece of advice on writing you’ve ever received?

Don't quit. That really sums it all up. You could quit right before you land that first contract, so don't do it. Not if it really matters to you.

That is great advice! What kind of goals to you set for yourself when writing? Word count? Page count?

To finish the book. I'm not good with hemming myself in with “goals.” I sure try. I set them and try to meet them, but by day two I've usually wandered off to do anything but write. So my goal is always the same. Finish the book. Sometimes that takes a couple months. Sometimes a couple years. I work on a lot of projects at once, so I tend to finish a bunch in batches too.

Do you listen to music while you write?

Yes. If I had my way, I'd live to music. You know how a soundtrack accompanies the big dramatic moment in TV shows and movies? I'd love that. My first love was music, and it's the one thing I need more than writing. It fuels the stories I concoct in my head, and I've gotten in the habit of doing playlists for each book. And hoo boy, is my taste eclectic. It's not unusual for me to have 30 Seconds to Mars, Loreena McKennitt, Jo Dee Messina and TuPac Shakur on one playlist. Actually, that's pretty much my norm.

That is eclectic. Tell us about your newest release.

Ex Appeal, my novella out today from The Wild Rose Press's Scarlet Roses, is about Ty and Jenny, two people who are still very much in love with each other despite breaking up a month before the story opens. Neither of them are happy about the breakup. Actually, both are miserable. Jenny's tired of their lackluster sex life, but Ty didn't seem willing to change that. But when Ty posts his profile on Hunk Du Jour, the dating site where Jenny works as the websmistress, all bets are off. Both decide to lay what they need on the line. The only question is if there's some way to make those needs mesh...but they definitely have some fun while they're finding out.

You know I love this book! Do you have anything in the works?

Oh yeah. At one point recently, I had 10 WIPs, and I'm pretty sure that number hasn't gone down. Right now, my four main stories are all erotic stories, two shorter novellas and two longer stories that may end up being novels the way they're going. One of them is Giving It Up, the third and final Hunk Du Jour story about Haley, Holly from Full Disclosure's younger sister. She's tons of fun to write. And I'm also gearing up for my first release from Ellora's Cave, Personal Research. Hope to have a release date for that one soon.

If you could have lunch with one writer, who would it be?

Hmm, tough one. It's a choice between la Nora and Jeaniene Frost, my two favorite authors. I think I'm going to go with Jeaniene, because I'm a total fangirl of hers. Plus she seems like an awesome person.

Oh I’d have to join you in the Jeaniene Frost fan club. What is your favorite thing to eat?

My favorite thing is Mexican food. Quesadillas, nachos, fajitas – love 'em all. Chili's is my go-to place when I need a pick-me-up.

You know, I've never been to Chilis. What is your favorite season?

Fall, by far. I love September and October in NY. The changing leaves, the scents, the pumpkins, the anticipation in the air. And that Halloween (my favorite holiday) is smack dab in the middle of it only makes it that much better!

Who is your favorite actor?

Jack Nicholson. Love him.
He's as quirky as they come, which works for me!

Who is your favorite band or singer?

Fleetwood Mac. Lots of others I love too, but they've been my favorite since high school, along with The Eagles. But Fleetwood Mac has several things The Eagles do not. Namely, Lindsey Buckingham on guitar and Stevie Nicks' amazing vocals. Lindsey also looks pretty damn good in leather pants, which I say after thoroughly checking him out on the cover of Say You Will just this morning.

LOL. I’ve loved Fleetwood Mac since I was a little girl. I still have them in my favorites file... In fact, I think I’ll listen to them now. What is your favorite song?

Don't Fear The Reaper. Remember that thing about my writing being weird? Well, shockingly, I'm a bit different too.

By Blue Oyster Cult? Love that song. When I was a little girl I wanted to write the story about what happens in the song.

Anime and BOC... ; ) The sound quality was better on this video.

What is a movie you could watch over and over?

Halloween, the original. I'm a huge fan of 70s horror flicks and this has been my favorite movie since I was young. Yep, I snuck out of bed to watch horror movies in the middle of the night. And though I often had nightmares, I never had one after watching movies. Guess the horror in my head's all self-created.

What is your favorite non-alcoholic drink?

Coffee. Hot, cold, bring it on! It's my fuel for all those early mornings at work and late nights at the computer.

Yay for coffee! What is your favorite alcoholic drink?

Margaritas. They're a new obsession with me, but I like them without the salt.

Makes sense as they're yummy with Mexican food. Have them put sugar on the rim... yum.

Okay, time for something more personal, have you ever had a one-night stand?

Ha, I wish. Unfortunately I'm about the polar opposite from most of my characters. I can overthink going out for pizza, so no-strings sex violates my stringent overthink clause. But I have fun writing about many-night stands in my books!

What is the craziest or most unusual place you’ve had sex?

I'd have to say in a bedroom where my boyfriend's best friend and mom were sleeping in beds across the room. And not far across the room. We're talking a couple feet. We were staying at a friend's, and sleeping arrangements were tight. But hey, gotta do what you gotta do!

Thank you so much, Cari. Where can we find you?

In my head, most of the time. Oh, you mean where on the web? Well, I'm on Twitter and Facebook (under the shockingly original name of Cari Quinn) and I have my own blog I also share a blog with my fabulous CP, Taryn Elliot, Word Wenches. And if you're not sick of me yet, we're starting a group blog with a bunch of talented romance authors called Romancing The Muses, which will be launching soon. Not only that, I'm doing a website. A very basic website. Finally! Call me anything, but don't call me early.

And to tempt you further, here is the excerpt for Ex Appeal by Cari Quinn:

Ty inhaled deeply. His head swam at the scent that filled his nostrils, an aroma that was all Jenny. His fingers clenched on the doorframe above his head as he took in the sight of her lying nude on the bed. God, she was beautiful. Her golden skin glowed under the track lighting, and her wet pink lips pursed as she concentrated on what she was doing. The pain that had seized him moments ago when he'd walked in the unlocked door and heard her moans coming from the bedroom faded away in a flood of lust.

He couldn’t stop the sound that escaped him. Part groan, part growl, all need. Her gaze swung toward the door, her pupils widening until her hazel irises all but disappeared. He met her eyes briefly, electrically, before he deliberately shifted his attention back between her thighs.

Abruptly, her movements stilled.

They stared at each other in silent challenge. Her flushed face reddened even more, the color inching all the way up to her hairline. She’d always been a blusher, but he hadn’t seen that reaction from her in too many years to count. It had been a long time since he’d flustered her, and he liked it.

For a moment, neither of them moved. Hello, awkward. But in spite of the strained circumstance of their reunion, he only wanted one thing.

For her to finish.

“Don’t stop,” he murmured.

Learn more about Cari on her website. Want more of Ex Appeal? It's right here. You won't be disappointed.

Time: The hard and fast truth from one perspective.

Time is a fickle thing. I know it’s over said and cliché, but that’s because it’s true.

This morning, I opened my email box to find 2875 unread emails. To be fair, I have two email accounts for Lynne. One is linked to my website and I use it mainly for submissions and communication with my editor and I check it at least twice a day, the other is linked to the forums and loops I follow. The second is the one with 2875emails.

My Google reader is at an even 250 unread blogs. Thank you all for linking your blogs to twitter, I do check twitter several times a day, although not always in my Lynne persona, but if I see your blog, I will click on it.

My point isn’t to complain, or whine, although I admit it may sound like it. I'm simply frustrated. With myself, mostly.

My goal had been to check the Google reader once a day and then when I realized this was usually late at night when I was too tired to see straight and should not be commenting on blogs, I adjusted my expectations to once a week. I still haven’t done that. The 2875 emails are mostly from loops containing links that interest me, people that interest me. Things it would be smart to pay attention to if I’m going to be successful in this crazy business called writing.

However, when I was up on my Google reader, on top of the loops and promo activities, there was no time to write.

I realize there is a balance somewhere, but quite frankly, I haven’t found it. And this is why I'm frustrated. There is only so much time during the day.

Last week I took the week ‘off’ of work, I mean the kind that pays the bills. I usually work on my NF about 6 hours a day. I reduced that to 1 hour a day and spent those 5 hours writing, researching my writing, etc. The etc being the constant interruptions by children for things like lunch, breakfast, fights, stories, and I’m homeschooling my son this year throughout the summer. I didn’t blog or check blogs or worry about either, I just wrote.

Throughout the day, I got a solid 4 hours a day in. And you know what? Despite my fears, I haven’t forgotten to write, I just haven’t been giving myself the necessary time in which to do so. I wrote over 10 K in one week, vs the 600 words per week I was eking in. But unless I want to move the kids into a cardboard box, I need to work.

Recently I read a blog in which the author was musing about her reduced writing schedule due to summer vacation. She’d said she’d only have 4 or so hours to write a day. I turned every shade of green imaginable. What I wouldn’t give for even 2 solid hours to write every day and that was her reduced time? She wasn’t exactly complaining, but stating a fact and she’s a successful and prolific writer whom I admire.

It’s hard not compare my output with hers. Hell, it’s hard not to compare my output to many other writers. Although I celebrate their new releases, I’m beginning to worry about mine, or the lack thereof--not just about production, but promotion. Sales are down. I need a new book to interest people in my back log. It’s hard not to panic that besides the stories I have with editors now; I have nothing close to submission ready. And no guarantee those submissions will be contracted which will be 3 more months on another editors desk.

*I will not panic. I will not panic.*

I have heard often that a writer will write no matter what and I know it’s true. I find myself writing short stories using my 4 yo’s sight words so she can read a book all by herself, making up little stories for my 9 yo. But there is more to writing than writing. It’s a business. A business that takes time.

Monday's Pick-me-up

Summer is officially here and to celebrate, I thought I'd turn up the heat a little.

Words for Women to Live By

This was sent to me by my mother's friend.

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.

2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color.

3. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.

4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!

5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).

6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.

8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.

9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.

11. When life gives you lemons - buy some Coronas.

12. Forget about the perfect man - he's living in Bondi with his boyfriend.

13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.

14. If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble.

15. By the time a women realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.

The Answers

Okay, I know you guys are dying of curiousity... Mildly curious? Um how about willing to read the answers?

* I learned how to speak Siobani, the elven language in Lord of the Rings. True. It took me about 6 months, but I joined a forum, took classes and could understand the Siobani spoken in the movies. Oddly enough, Aragorn, Viggo Mortenson, pronounces it better than any of the elves in the movie. Somewhere I have a poem that I wrote in Siobani that is actually quite good. (IMO)

• I have trapped and eaten beaver. True. Well, not quite true. You only eat the tail. We made dog food out of the rest. I lived in a small town in Washington for many years. My mother was friends with a trapper who took me under his wing. He took me trapping, made me moccasins (I miss those—you’ll never find them in the stores. Authentic, sewn-to-the-dimension-of-your-feet moccasins.) And attempted to teach me the old ways while he taught me all of the above. He was only about an eighth Indian, but he was married to a full blood... I don’t remember her tribe. So what does beaver taste like? I hear you snickering… really it tastes like ox. Never had ox? Very rich beef.

• I’ve driven the wrong way on a one way street. True. I am not proud of this one. I was 16 and dating an older guy. I was… er inebriated at a party and someone asked who wanted to go pick up the pizza. I said I did and he tossed me the keys. Did I mention I didn’t have a license yet, and that I was 16 and too drunk to walk straight? I did end up driving the wrong way on a one way street but it was after 1am and there was no traffic. God watches out for fools.

• I’ve went skydiving on my 30th birthday. False. I am so afraid of heights I can’t ride in a glass elevator without feeling queasy. I get severe vertigo and I just know I’m going to faint and fall…. No, I don’t need counseling, I’m just going to stay away from heights. If God had meant me to fly, I’d have wings…

• To celebrate my 32nd birthday, I pierced my bellybutton. True. It was also kind of an act of independence because I was free from an emotionally abusive relationship but that sounded so depressing. Yes, it’s still pierced. I kept it in for as long as I could when I was pregnant with my youngest and then borrowed a tongue stud to run in through when I got too big. The skin was so thin, it was scary. The moment I got home from the hospital, I stuck it back in and it’s still there. Well, it’s another one now. I have quite a few.

• I’ve been in every state west of the Mississippi. True. I was born in Utah, moved to California when I was two and when I was 8, my mom decided to go on an evangelistic trip with some of her friends. So she piled my two sisters and me into an RV with a family of 6 and we traveled all over the U.S. I saw the Mississippi, but we never crossed it. I remember someone waking me up to tell me we were in Texas but I never saw it until I went back 20 or so years later. We stayed in Nebraska for about 2 weeks. I remember the snapdragons. We lived at a farm commune in Minnesota for 3 months. They have the biggest mosquitoes in the world—but I also remember really good ice cream in St. Paul. We were going to stay in Montana for awhile but didn’t. I don’t remember why. Then it was on to Washington State where I lived for 3 years.

• My spirit animal, the bobcat, appeared to me when I was 12. True. As you probably imagine, this has something to do with the Trapper mentioned above. His wife was pregnant and overdo but every time they traveled the road, the baby would turn. (It was a really bad road) As the baby was head down and she was so close to delivery, they didn’t want her traveling the road again. So I went to stay with her. She had a 3 yo and a 1 yo. If she went into labor, I was supposed to run for town and get help. (Over two miles through dense forest) This was the kind of woods where you waited for deer to get out of the way so you could pass. There was no running water, no electricity. This was as close to ‘nature’ as you could get it.
About the second week, I woke up to two golden eyes staring at me from the door of the trailer. (I was alone, they were in the other trailer) The eyes weren’t very high or large and I remember wondering if I was dreaming. I told the trapper about it and he said there were bobcat tracks around the trailer. To make a long story short: He told me the bobcat had chosen me. I still have a handmade earring with a bobcat claw he gave me as a reminder.

Monday's Pick-me-up

One of my favorites.

Monday's Pick-me-up

It's starting to get a little hot out there.

Creative Blogger Award

Thank you to Emma for nominating me for this award. I’m sorry it took me so long to post this… Some things are worth waiting for?

The rules are:

1. Thank the person who gave this to you.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you.
4. Tell up to six outrageous lies about yourself, and at least one outrageous truth – or – switch it around and tell six outrageous truths and one outrageous lie.
5. Nominate seven “Creative Writers” who might have fun coming up with outrageous lies.
6. Post links to the seven blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know you nominated them.

Here are my six outrageous lies and one truth, or one outrageous lie and six truths.

• I learned how to speak Siobani, the elven language in Lord of the Rings.

• I have trapped and eaten beaver.

• I’ve driven the wrong way on a one way street.

• I’ve went skydiving on my 30th birthday.

• To celebrate my 32nd birthday, I pierced my bellybutton.

• I’ve been in every state west of the Mississippi.

• My spirit animal, the bobcat, appeared to me when I was 12.

And I’m nominating:

Kaily Hart
HC Palmquist
JA Saare
Helen Hardt
Lia Slater

These are truly creative writers, and I can't wait to read what they’re going to say.
So go ahead and guess, which one the lie? Or which one is the truth?

Leave your guesses in the comments for a chance to win a $5 gift certificate at The Wilder Rose Press. If there is more than one person who guesses correctly, I'll put their name in a hat and let my four year old draw one out. I'll pick a winner June 15th!

Letting you do all the work.

I scheduled a blog post today. It’s written on my calendar to-do list in red ink. Number 6. I mean it’s about time, right? The problem? I have no idea what to write. This is technically a writing blog so I should educate you in some manner, but I’m not feeling very scholarly, or, quite frankly, that I have all that much to share you don’t already know.

I could entertain you in some way… but damn it, I’m tired.

So instead of staring at that damn blinking cursor—do they make it blink so we don’t lose it on the page? Because yunno, missing cursers could be a problem, or did someone, somewhere think ‘hey a black blinking line on a white page will really irritate writers'—I digress.

Instead of staring at that damn thing, I decided to read your blogs and you know what? You guys rock!

--a side note, I’m not any better at reading blogs than I am writing them… 358 on my Google Reader—

Here’s a few highlights:

Helen Hardt has the most gorgeous hunks on her blog. Yesterday, she had one of my favorite pictures. Why is it my favorite? Oh go look, honey. You’ll see why.

Cari Quinn has a release day for her new book Ex Appeal (yay) and she has an awesome interview with Kay Manro, author of Forbidden Love.

Catherine Bybee has a wonderful blog post on Top Ramen vs Steak. LOL No really, it’s an awesome post on the business of writing.

And now that you talented, entertaining writers have done my job for me, I’m… grabbing a cup of coffee and reading a book. : P